川普當選, 單車天使首映


情緒很複雜的一天

 週六, 12.11.16

星期三晚上,因為美國選舉的結果,到了『單車天使』的首映會場時,心情很複雜。一方面很興奮的想與朋友們分享這五年所努力出來的作品,但同時也在擔憂,因為川普當選,導致世界即將面對不可預測的未來。

而這樣焦慮的心情,卻在我看到環島的院童們搭著遊覽車來到首映會現場時,開始和緩了下來。因為看到了這群孩子們,讓我開始回想起五年前,在紀錄片開拍之前,我與團隊下定決心想要將這群孩子的故事傳遞出去的信念。

Trump elected on the day of Premiere

Following the results of the US election, I arrived at the premiere screening of Cycling Angels on Wednesday night with mixed emotions. I was excited to showcase something I’ve worked hard on for the past five years, but I was also anxious of the potentially adverse changes soon to impact the world.

When I saw the kids from the children’s shelter (stars of the doco) arriving at the premiere on a bus, I’m immediately reminded of the reason why my team and I had committed to this project. The resurfaced memory gave me much consolation to the anxiety that had haunted me most of the night.

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還記得五年前,第一次看到信義育幼院的孩子踏上環島的旅程時,簡直無法相信,這些孩子可以那麼少的資源,完成了如此艱難的成就,只是單純的因為想『回家』。而在我們了解了孩子們的家庭背景後,心中更是不捨。因為我們知道『回家』,一個對一般人再正常不過的行為,對於這些孩子來說,卻是一件很難完成的夢想。

這些孩子生出來,從來沒有選擇的餘地。他們沒有權利選擇生長環境或是父母親的條件,也沒有能力脫逃暴力的對待。偏偏這些孩子們所面對的背叛或受虐,經常又是來自他們最親愛的人。

我相信以社會普世的價值觀,這群孩子是最應得優先輔助或特殊待遇。不過他們從來沒跟我要過任何東西,就連我的同情都沒要求過。 以前是自己的傲慢,以可憐的心態看待這些孩子,我以為自己有能力提供他們什麼為社會貢獻。但事實上,是這些孩子給了我最大的勵志與勇氣,讓我度過這幾年的難關。 他們成了我的人生導師;

六歲的孩子,教了我有用手洗衣服的技巧。

九歲的孩子,讓我想起了我童年的夢想,甚至教了我如何去追逐夢想。

十三歲的孩子,教了我如何寬容看待甚至好好對待只會傷害自己的人。

我最後從這些孩子學到; 環境中有許多我們無法掌控的變化因素。環境的變化有可能將你逼退了數多步,逼退你進入了黑暗之處。不過只要你記得自已的夢想,你還是會記得你之前的面向,而勇敢的向前走,做你該做的事。

這些孩子長大後不見得會記得我。不過我永遠不會忘記這些教導了我那麼多的小英雄們。

Five years ago, I was simply amazed at how much these kids had achieved with so little resources they had; all for the dream of returning home one day. Such a simple dream, some may say, but knowing the family backgrounds of the shelter’s children, we knew for some of the kid it was an impossible dream destined to be broken.

They had no say as to the environment that they would grow up in or the parents they would inherit. If there were drug use or domestic violence, they were forced to face it from the people that were meant to be the guardians of such abuse.

If anybody deserved to ask for handouts or free passes, it was these kids without a doubt. But they had never asked me for anything, not even my sympathy.

I was hubris, in my pity of these kids, believing that they would be in need of inspiration from me; when in reality they were the ones who inspired with so much strength to carry on through difficult times all these years.

They were indeed my teachers in many ways.

A 6yr old taught me how to hand wash my clothes…

A 9yr old reminded me of my dreams and gave me pointers on how to achieve it.

A 13yr old taught me how to be tolerant of those that would only abuse you, and be the better person.

Eventually, they all taught me that there will always be elements in life beyond our control. But whatever the environment throws at you, forcing you back so far into darkness that you may no longer be able to see the light anymore; so long as you remember your dreams you’ll still face the same way as before and all you have to do is keep on doing what you gotta do.

They might not remember me when they grow up. But I’ll never forget these little heroes that have taught me so much.